You might assume that these little actions, these first little “hellos,” are unimportant in the long run. They can open doors to friendship and send us on a path to closeness and intimacy that would never have been possible without those first steps. They make you laugh, they go on adventures with you and they are there for you in difficult times. But sometimes making new friends can be very difficult, whether you’re trying to meet friends at school, online, or as an adult. Fortunately, making new friends doesn’t have to be difficult, especially once you know where to look and how to get out of it.
Making more friends in adulthood will require a conscious effort on your part. It’s an exciting challenge in theory, but one of the first hurdles you’ll encounter is being confident enough. Especially if you’re naturally shy, going outside can seem scary, causing fears of rejection. These fears can cause you to engage in two types of avoidance that will hinder your ability to make friends. First, you can practice “open avoidance” by not putting yourself in situations where it’s possible to meet new people. Instead of going to your friend’s movie night, with the opportunity to meet others, you end up staying home.
This initial fear turns into a mental anguish, which takes on a life of its own and unconsciously prevents us from making new friends. It may seem easier to make friends online because you can find people all over the world who have similar interests. If you’re an introvert, online friendships can feel more comfortable. As students, we usually sit in class or work for one of our many classes. Over time, you’ll find that people tend to sit in the same seat in every class, giving you the opportunity to build on your first hello to cultivate a friendship.
Remember that friendship can vary depending on time and level of commitment. When you’re 6 years old, everyone is a potential friend. Then you become an adult and you start to see that not everyone has your best interests at heart.
People can be suspicious if you come out too strong when you first meet. Instead, try to facilitate friendship and make sure you both feel comfortable. After some friendly conversations, suggest meeting up for coffee, lunch, or a quick run.
Second, you may find yourself participating in “covert avoidance,” which means you appear but don’t relate to people when you arrive. You go to movie night, but while everyone is analyzing the movie after it’s over, you sit quietly in the corner, petting someone’s corgi, and scrolling across Instagram. It’s a myth that great friendships should be maintenance-free. ALL relationships, including friendships, require effort, time invested, willingness to do what you don’t feel like doing sometimes, and talking when you don’t feel like talking. The work you put into it will be the satisfaction you get, Dr. Saltz explains.
16% – 50% of the population is made up of introverts, so there are more extroverts in the world, which makes introverts feel abandoned. Even though it’s harder for them to make sohbet friends, when you meet these people, they become the most loyal people in your life. Here are some tips to facilitate the first step and how to make meaningful new connections.
You’ll always feel at home with friends nearby, and such healthy relationships can have a positive impact on your mental health. Good friends help us relax our true potential, support us, and we are always there in the face of adversity. In addition, they are a source of motivation and inspiration.
It is not necessary to be so personal in the first interaction, but to exchange some words or stories that can break the ice. The first step is to develop a healthy mental image of meeting new people. We worry about making a good impression, whether the other person will like us, how we can keep the conversation going, etc.
Especially if you’re more introverted and find social interactions exhausting. Whether you’re active in a church or haven’t been there in years, churches, mosques, and synagogues are a great way to meet people who share your faith. In addition, there are usually many opportunities for participation. Whether it’s a study group, a volunteer opportunity, or a weekly meal, places of worship are ideal for meeting new people and making friends. Finding quality friends is a hurdle at any age, but older adults may have a harder time. “In later life, we tend to be less active in environments that offer the opportunity to make friends,” says GinaMarie Guarino, a licensed mental health consultant at PsychPoint.